


That time they got in a fight

by Side_effect_of_the_meds



Series: Fem!Andreil [3]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/F, Fem!Andreil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Side_effect_of_the_meds/pseuds/Side_effect_of_the_meds
Summary: Tempers flare and Erin's gets the best of her
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Fem!Andreil [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586845
Kudos: 30





	That time they got in a fight

  * Idk if bipolar is the correct term for Erin but I do understand what you’re talking about. 
  * The truth is, Erin has always felt things. She’s just usually really good at hiding it. However, ever since Ania first barreled right into her life, Erin’s been having a hard time keeping it together. She used to tell herself that it was a side effect of the meds but some part of her knew the truth
  * It’s terrifying. A pretty face and a filthy mouth were all it took to shatter the carefully constructed persona Erin had built herself as a defense mechanism. 
  * For the first time in years, Erin _wants._ I mean really wants. Every time she sees the flash of Ania’s sharp grin she can feel her legs starting to tremble. The foxes usually attribute it to her withdrawal. Those are the only times Erin is thankful for the smoke screen of her drugs. But no. Erin sees Ania out on the court and she can feel her heart wrenching every time she gets slammed against the walls. There’s nothing she can do though. It’s just the way the game is played and she has to stand there, forcing herself through withdrawal while watching her family get pummeled. 
  * It’s always hurt to watch Aaron getting trucked by men far bigger than him but watching Ania face off against men like that makes it feel like there’s someone ripping Erin’s heart out of her chest. She knows what Ania faced back at Millport (if you haven’t read my og post on the girls, Ania is a victim of rape. Some stuff happens while she’s on the run and then Hernandez catches the captain of the Millport team taking advantage of Ania and gets him expelled. It’s the reason why he recommends Ania for the fox line) and she knows that Ania is afraid of men too. 
  * When Erin comes home from Easthaven and finds out about Christmas at Evermore, every single nerve in her body is screaming. She left Ania for one month and came home to find that her junkie spent two weeks getting beaten, bruised, and raped by the same psychotic whore Erin promised to protect her from. 
  * She is fully prepared to fly out to Evermore and kill Fem!Riko herself but Ania insists on breaking her first. As much as she still wants to end Riko, Erin’s want, need, to please Ania is far stronger. If Ania told her to walk off the edge of the roof, Erin would do it. She stuffs her anger deep inside her and tries to piece her apathetic facade back together. 
  * That’s when things start getting too much for her. Seeing Ania working so hard to pretend that Christmas hadn’t happened ends up chipping away even more at her. Erin knows what it’s like to have to shove her past aside. She knows what it’s like to try to forge ahead despite it all. Sometimes Erin catches herself staring at Ania and feeling a deep sense of…. Erin doesn’t know what. Spoiler alert: it’s empathy. Erin is learning to feel empathy. She just doesn’t know how to express it. 
  * And then Ania asks her about sex. She asks how Erin can sleep with Ronnie after everything that she’s been through. The truth is it’s hard. Erin had to shove all her doubts deep down. She had to let herself want and its so hard. That was then, but now? With Ania around, Erin feels like she’s suffocating. 
  * Erin tells her as much. Not the suffocating bit. She’s not ready to admit that bit but she thinks Ania already knows. She’s already told her she’d eat her out. There’s no hiding anymore. She tells her that if she wants to get better, Ania must learn to let herself want. She has to learn to love herself. Erin might never get to love Ania the way she deserves to be loved but she hopes that at least Ania can learn to do it herself. 
  * One thing leads to another and Erin isn’t 100% sure how it got to this point but she finds herself getting the only thing she’s ever truly wanted. She starts spending most nights between Ania’s legs and it’s so much better than she ever imagined. When she sends Ania away so she can finish on her own, she feels so cold. It isn’t just her body that Erin misses, though. Every time Ania leaves, she takes a piece of Erin with her. Erin’s chest feels so cold and empty when Ania’s gone. 
  * Alone in her car, Erin is full of anger. She’s seen the way Kevin winds an arm around her shoulders when the others aren’t watching. She’s seen the way their pinkies intertwine when they walk back to the dorms from class. She’s seen the way Ania buries her face in Kevin’s neck as he carries her, scolding her for nearly blowing her legs out. Erin is just a phase and one day Ania will leave her, or so she believes. Erin spends far too many hours thinking about Kevin and Ania’s exy prodigy children. Tears sting her eyes at the thought of Ania asking her to be the maid of honor at their wedding. Erin drives out to a field in the middle of nowhere and screams at the top of her lungs and cries until she can’t anymore. At practice, she aims her rebounds at Kevin’s head or makes him run the length of the court to fetch the ball. 
  * Her feelings only intensify with each passing day. Baltimore happens and something inside Erin breaks. She’d been hiding her feelings from Ania this whole time. Maybe if she told Ania the truth she’d stop running. Or maybe she’d run faster than ever. 
  * By some miracle, Allison decides to stop being a bitch for once in her life. She convinces the rest of the foxes to leave Ania and Erin alone at the cabin. Erin scowls at Allison sly smirk but thanks the universe for this opportunity. 
  * Erin helps strip Ania and has her lay on the bed. She spends the next two hours kissing, licking, and nipping at every one of Ania’s old scars. She trails feather light kisses over the new ones and draws patterns across her ruined skin with light fingers. She kisses away the tears streaming down Ania’s face and lavishes her with as much care as she can muster. Erin can not tell Ania she loves her so she pours every ounce of her love into her actions, hoping, praying, that Ania will understand. 
  * She does. Ania matches Erin’s care by kissing over the scars racing up and down her forearms. She runs her hands over Erin’s thighs and lays her head on her stomach because she knows Erin is self conscious about them. 
  * Letting herself feel these things is simultaneously the best and worst thing Erin could do. In doing so, she released a floodgate of emotions in general. 
  * Following the death of Riko, Erin feels so much more than she thought she could. 
  * She’s still growing accustomed to the love that fills her every time she sees Ania when the others start. She sees Aaron and feels pride welling in her heart. She sees Nicky and feels appreciation flood her senses. She sees Kevin and Allison and is overwhelmed by her admiration for them. When Erin sees Dan, Matt, and Renee she can not deny how grateful she feels knowing what they do for Ania. Wymack is the worst of all. When Erin sees Wymack she feels safe. It’s disorienting. Men have only ever hurt her but his presence soothes a savage part of her soul. 
  * Unfortunately, Erin also discovers a wide range of negative emotions. Anxiety builds whenever her family so much as leaves her line of sight. Jealousy blinds her whenever Katelyn makes Aaron smile, something Erin has never been able to do for her brother. Bitterness cuts through her almost good mood at the thought of having to untangle herself from Ania to get to afternoon practice. 
  * Erin somehow manages to convert them all into the emotion she’s the most well-acquainted with: anger.
  * Ania bears the brunt of it. 
  * If Erin isn’t directing her anger at an exy ball, she’s channeling it into hurling objects across the room and snapping at whoever dares come near her. Ania is no longer a Wesninski by name but there is no denying that she is her father’s daughter. Of all the things that Ania had inherited from him, his fiery temper had caused her the most trouble. 
  * When Erin snaps at Ania, she can never stop herself from snapping back. Fights between the two are more common than people expect. Wymack, however, is not surprised. The two of them combined have the communication skills of a sack of potatoes. Most of Erin and Ania’s communication is non-verbal. Their emotions manifest in the darting of their eyes, the twitch of their fingers, and their unconscious movements. Blinded by rage, neither of them pick up on the others’ cues, severing all communication between the two. 
  * They make up quickly though. Erin can’t ever stay mad at Ania. Ania can’t ever stay away from Erin. 
  * There are times when things do get too far out of hand.
  * Stress has been building up in Erin for weeks now. Ania can see it in the tension coiling in Erin’s muscles and the harsh glint in her eyes. She doesn’t know what’s wrong so she simply offers Erin her space. It doesn’t work. If anything, it only riles her up even more. After two and a half weeks of Erin snapping and snarling at everyone around her, Ania caves and decides to take the bull by its horns. She tries to talk to Erin about things that don’t matter but Erin isn’t having it. Ania can feel her blood boiling. She knows that there’s times when Erin needs to sort things through on her own but she isn’t even trying this time. She’s just being stubborn. As her anger builds, she starts to slip. Neither of them remember what exactly Ania said. They just know that one minute Erin was sitting at her desk and the next she had Ania by the collar of her shirt, her other hand raised in a closed fist.
  * In that moment, Ania forgot who was holding her. She saw only the flash of blonde hair and the fiery glint of hazel eyes. 
  * “Please, Mom! I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I swear,” Ania sobbed. The hand holding Ania’s shirt released its grip and Ania scrambled backwards. It took her a few minutes to calm down enough to remember where she was. As she came back to herself, Ania saw who it was that grabbed her. 
  * Erin was standing there, staring at the hand she had raised. Tears streamed down her blank face. “Ania, I-,” she choked. 
  * “Erin? Erin, it’s okay. You didn’t mean to. I know you didn’t mean to” Ania said as she started to crawl back to her. Erin saw Ania moving towards her and stumbled backwards, her chest heaving as she struggled to breathe. 
  * “I was going to- I- I was going to hurt you,” she whispered. Erin backed into a corner and slid to the floor. “I was going to hurt you.” 
  * The girls sit in their respective corners, Ania staring at Erin, Erin staring at her still curled fist. 
  * “Erin?” she said softly. Erin pried her eyes off her hand to look at Ania. “Erin, come here.” 
  * “No.”
  * “Erin-”
  * “No.” 
  * It takes them another half an hour before either of them move. When they do, Erin grabs her keys and heads for the door. Ania goes next door to find Kevin. She tells him what happened and he looks ready to cry. He ushers her inside and drags his computer out to the living room. They curl up on the couch and watch exy reruns until Ania falls asleep, curled in his arms. 
  * The next morning, Ania returns to her room to find Erin getting ready for morning practice. She refuses to look Ania in the eye. Ania plants herself in her path. 
  * “Erin,” she pleads. 
  * “Stop.” Erin leaves Ania lone in their room. Erin refuses to speak to Ania for the remainder of the week. She crashes at Wymack’s place and he doesn’t pry. On Saturday night, Erin breaks. She tells him about what she did and by the end of it, she’s crying hysterically. She lets him wrap his arms around her and hold her together the way he did after the Binghampton game. 
  * He leaves her wrapped in a blanket on the couch with the t.v. on to make a call. Bee shows up twenty minutes later with Erin’s favorite hot chocolate mix. They spend the next few hours talking about healthy coping mechanisms for stress. They talk about all the emotions Erin’s been feeling and how to manage them. 
  * It takes all the courage Erin can muster to return to the dorms that morning. She opens the door to find Ania laying in Erin’s bed. In her hand, she clutches one of Erin’s sweatshirts. Tear stains mar her face. 
  * “Ania,” Erin says. Her eyes immediately shoot open. 
  * “Erin,” she replies, her voice choked with emotion. Erin knelt down beside the bed and cupped Ania’s face in her hands.
  * Pressing their foreheads together, she whispered, “I’m so sorry, baby.”
  * Erin still gets mad sometimes. She still picks fights with Ania but she never bottles her emotions up like that again. It’s not that she cares about emotions eating away at her. No, she just doesn’t ever want to scare Ania like that again. 




End file.
